Midterm reflections

Broken barriers...

Before I get into the meaty stuff, I just realize that I neglected to inform you all of a surprising discovery that I made on Tuesday morning. Half asleep, I stepped out the back door to dispose of some organic waste in our compost pile. I was greeted by the sight of our neighbors backyard - a view which had formerly been hidden behind a brick wall, but was now uncovered because the wall had collapsed. We were getting used to the concept of being the center of attention in the neighborhood, but this took things to a whole new level. Just to prevent any false conclusions, the wall (or anything in our complex for that matter) was not designed by eMi. From the looks of it, the failure was due to an inaptly routed canal, which evidently had been eroding away at the foundation of the wall. We had been getting a lot of heavy rain over the past week or so, which undoubtedly contributed to the catastrophe.

The activities which I discovered had been going on behind the wall without prior notice were startling. From the looks of it, this canal serves as a water source for some of our neighbors. I don't suspect they drink from it (at least not before treating it) but all the same, that water can't be good.

To be honest, I'm not all that disappointed at the calamity. Shoot, now we have one less barrier to interacting with our neighbors. It's a shame Zach and I only have a little over a week here in Kampala left to take advantage of it.

Speaking of running out of time, can you believe it? My time here in Uganda is nearly half over. Wow. So, this week, I've been trying to reflect a little over the past three months and come to terms with how things have gone so far. A few observations...

Flesh –
I’m not sure what I actually thought Africa would be like. I don’t think I consciously thought that I could leave my flesh in America when I came here, but I’m pretty sure the idea was at least there. You know, it’s like, “Africa – if I can just go to Africa, things will be different. I’ll be so much closer to God, I’ll be able to listen to him, I’ll be able to focus on ministry, I’ll be able to figure out my life. If I can just cross the ocean, then I won’t have to deal with my sinful heart.” Wrong. Dead wrong. And although I knew this at the outset, I think I was still hoping for it. Turns out, I can be just as selfish, self-centered, proud, heartless, and complacent on this side of the Atlantic.

A little while ago, I made a prayer request to some other eMi folks that I would step out of my comfort zone. Afterwards, I was asked by a fellow intern, “Wasn’t coming to Africa stepping out of your comfort zone?” “Sure,” I responded, “but since I’ve come here (which no doubt was a big stir in my life) I’ve found out how quickly I tend to settle. Coming to Africa was not an end in and of itself.” Hopefully, it will be the means to accomplishing what God wants to do through me, but merely spending six months in a third world country does little more than enhance my resume.

I remember back in December looking ahead to my time here, getting excited about the adventure. I was really stoked about the opportunity to come to such a place as this, and experience the different culture and everything. One thing that really concerned me, however, was that I would allow my time here to be nothing more than a glorified vacation. Was I only going so that I could postpone the date that I actually had to enter the “real world”? Was it just a craving to try something different? Was it so that I could appear to be more spiritual? (“Hey, look at me, I’m a missionary. Aren’t I something else?”) Or was it so that I could really follow God and allow him to mold my life?

I’m reminded of a message I heard a bit over a year ago which was aimed at addressing the issue of our complacent tendencies. The message dealt with the story at the end of Genesis 11 which tells of how Terah set out for Canaan, but only made it to Haran, and was content to settle there instead. It goes like this:

Gen 11:31 Terah took Abram his son and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife, and they went forth together from Ur of the Chaldeans to go into the land of Canaan, but when they came to Haran, they settled there.

Then, later God had to mobilize Abram to accomplish what his father had initially intended to do, reach Canaan. Had God also told Terah to go to Canaan, but he just didn’t follow through? We don’t really know, but the moral of the story is that he didn’t get the job done. Why? He got comfortable in Haran and decided to stay there instead. How often do we have big dreams, visions, passions, and ambition but then get burned out or lazy and just settle for something less, something more comfortable, something that’s “good enough.” That’s what I don’t want to happen here. I’m not interested in a six month vacation in a tropical paradise. That would be “good enough,” but there’s a higher calling.

If you’re on my mailing list, hopefully you had the chance to read the intro to my March Newsletter, which included an excerpt from John 21 and a quote from Erwin McManus. Last week, I read this book of his called The Barbarian Way, which really provoked a lot of thought and internal evaluation. If you’re happy with status quo, you probably shouldn’t read this book. I was really challenged by some of the points he made. The call of Jesus in John 21 was radical, it really was. He basically told Peter, “Dude, you’re gonna die for this cause. You’d better be ready to accept that.” Jesus never watered down the gospel so that people would accept it. From the looks of it, he even made it a point to emphasize how costly discipleship really was going to be.

So that’s where I’m at and what I’ve been thinking about. It’s not my intension to preach. This is about my personal evaluation; it’s about accountability. No, I don’t see my time here so far as a failure, but I think I need to do a better job of resisting the current of complacency. It’s really a daily effort. I also realize that it’s easy to make myself feel better about it just by talking about it (or writing in this case). I’ve been studying James with some guys from the church I’ve been going to (Amazing Grace), and James makes nothing is more clear than how useless and empty words can be. It’s not about what you have to say; it’s about what you do. Talk is cheap. “Anyone can say they have faith, but let me see it. Prove it to me, don’t just talk about it.” So yeah, this has been really challenging too. Do I just sit around and talk about living for God, or am I a doer of the word?

Vision –
One of my goals for this eMi internship was to scope out what might be down the road in my life. I’ve had the opportunity to meet folks who work in various ministries, and get a feel for what needs are out there, and how I can continue to be involved. I’m hoping to continue the quest, because I don’t think I’ve nailed anything down yet. There's no lack of need, but finding the appropriate way to address the problems is not as simple as it seems. Furthermore, I need to keep a focus on spiritual needs, not merely the more obvious physical ones. Africa's got a lot of problems and a lot of potential, but brute force is probably not a sustainable solution as appealing as it may be.

Technical -
I've definitely learned a ton through my technical involvement here. This has been fantastic. Through the project which I've been working on, I think I've gained a whole lot of experience with water related engineering, especially as it pertains to development. This is exactly what I was hoping to get involved in, so I'm really thankful. I'm also excited about the next phase of the internship - relocating to Jinja where I'll be serving a ministry called Arise Africa. I'll try to give you a better idea of what exactly this means as soon as I find out myself. I'm kind of just along for the ride at this po